It is, even now, three years after his passing, difficult to write about him. His presence in our lives was so strong that when I'm at Gibson's I still kinda expect him to walk out of the office and elbow the doorway (as was his unconscious habit). I also realize that many people even today will not be able to read this article because the loss was so tragic it still stabs deep, deeper than any of us will admit even to each other. But in this time of year I cant' help but think of him often and I know many of you are the same way, hopefully this article will help you remember the good times.

My first impression of Terry was not what he would have wanted. I met him at a Sifu Fong seminar in Tulsa, I thought his footwork was slow (later I learned to use this Thai boxing footwork and appreciate it's value) and that he was way to bulky to do anything but grab you and crush you. Of course I was comparing him to Sifu Fong, not quite the same structure. Anyway, I later learned I was right about one thing, he could grab you and crush you alright! But that was not all. He turned out to be everything I ever wanted in an Instructor, even some things I didn't want but needed.

As time went on I was honored by Terry and Cathy with the position of Program Director at his school in Tulsa, OK. It was a difficult time for me, a lot of changes, new home, new job, new friends, everything. Without the support of my then girlfriend Heather and the constant prodding by Terry, I'm not sure I would have been up to the task.

But with their patience and understanding I became a decent program director. As time would continue and experience traveled with it I also became known as a pretty good Instructor as well, eventually doing my own private lessons, seminars etc. Covering Terry's private lesson load (no small feat) when he was traveling the world doing seminars with Cathy. I was fortunate to be on a few of Terry's tapes he produced only beginning to feel comfortable on about the third or fourth one. There were some great out takes from those days, and some even I wouldn't want to see again. I remember on Knife Fighting Vol. 2 during a multiple attack sequence where he was feeding me freestyle one of my counters was a tad to weak for his power and he hit me with the Punyo of his dagger right in the mouth, we both finished the drill. Later I asked if we could film it again, and he said that it was good for people to see a mistake it lets them know that it's ok to mess up themselves. So if you look on that tape, there I am, learning a lesson in humility as well as teaching all wrapped up in one nice little video.

Later I moved away, for what reason I cannot now recall. Who knows maybe I needed time away from the full time martial arts to want it again. Who knows. During that time my contact with Terry and Cathy became less frequent as I was busy trying to make a living. Then I got a call from Terry. He was ill Darian (the program director at the time) was ill as well, there was no one to run the school. I quit my job and was there the next day. I have to say at this time that none of this would have been possible without the support of Heather, but that is another long story. I resumed teaching and working at the school to help out, with Cathy's guidance re-wrote the curriculum and began to help take care of Terry at home ( I moved in with them to help). I lived with them until Terry's passing, working at nite and staying with Terry or going to the school whatever was needed. One of mine and Terry's favorite things to do was watch videotapes. We watched some for fun and others for excitement. We compiled a list of best and worst tapes. We studied Guro Inosanto and Ajarn Chai. We discussed the secrets of the world during those days, which eventually lead us to religious beliefs, Terry was himself religious and had good friends who were as well. We continued our study in this area, eventually I had the great honor of Baptizing Terry, Cathy and a guy who was to eventually become one of my closest friends, Carl Goforth. We continued to discuss the martial arts, friends, and family. He mentioned that he would miss it all. I realize now that it far more the case that all of it misses him.

I must say that in the years I spent with Terry, I learned more from him in the last eight months I spent with him and Cathy than I in did in all the previous years. I saw just how strong Terry really was, even in very uncomfortable times. I learned what bravery really was as I watched Cathy work with him daily, pushing and pushing to continue under the stress. I realize these are very private moments I'm talking about, but this is to those of you who really knew Terry, to those select few who received some gift to remember him by, when he called you in. The blade he gave me is one of my most precious possessions and the book I read regularly.

Let me say in closing this, Terry realized after his first brain tumor that he could go any day. After that he started living. He treated every day as if it would be his last. He traveled the world, built a martial arts powerhouse of a school, and created a loving family that stretched around the world. In the last fifteen years of his life he did what he wanted to do. Shouldn't we be looking at that as his final lesson to us. Shouldn't we be looking at his example of how he lived? And finally I want to pass on what he wrote to me in the book he gave me to remember him by, I only do this because it is my wish that you will do it as well.

"Remember the Good Times, With X-treme Love Terry"

Sifu Harley Elmore